Bomb Ensemble for this week,

I love the look.

♥

From Reup to Takeover!

if this will not be the bombest church service you will ever attend in your young adulthood than I will pay you $5. Lol...see that fineness on the flyer. That beez Justin from Baldwin Hills...Hence, that's the kinda fineness you will encounter at this church. NOT THAT WE GOING TO CHURCH FOR THE DELICIOUS BOYS (thats just a bonus lol) but it is fun. Its a big party for Jesus lol. We learn some things, we dance, we flirt, we reflect and we peace out. Takeover ya'll! It'll be here May 17, 10 AM Sunday service. Be there...I know I will. hehe.

Hope to see yall there,

Cee.

not a good look.

&& so am I. Today was not such a good day. My parent made me feel really horrible. I don't see him much so it's hard to take it when he says I'm all these things I'm not. Granted, I am not perfect. I was once a VERY selfish individual. However, I have been working on my selflessness for the past 2 years. I have been extremely loving, tolerant of others, and giving to everyone around me. Sometimes I have even had my heart broken, stomped on, or walked over because of my newfound kindnes. However, he fails to realized that the slip ups I have are not intentional. If I do something selfish, it's not because I intend to hurt someone. Its simply because I am not thinking about what everyone esle wants all the time. But most of the time I do take others into consideration. && it kills me so much inside to be bashed on when I slip up one time. It hurts because I am trying so hard to improve myself and to be a better person but when I take 1 step in the wrong direction ALLLLLL the past mistakes have to be held against me. I'm tired of crying over spilled milk. I'm tired of being looked at as this HORRIBLE person inside when I'm a very loving person. I mean they say that SELFISH people are in denial and they make excuses for everything. But I have admitted to my selfishness and everyone is selfish to some extent. I am not perfect damn! Anywho...I just wish he could see how beautiful of a person I really am inside. If you ask any of my real friends they will tell you how dependable I am if they ever need me. How giving I am, and how I have a big heart and love to help people. So...this act is getting ridiculous. I am ready to leave the house. I need to go. College...I NEED YOU TO COOPERATE! UGH. Sorry it had to be such a gloomy post...but it will be better next time I promise.

Just venting,

Cee.

uhhhm Obssesed,

has dissapointed me. It got incredibly too much hype for what it was worth. I must admit that for a story plot, the role of Lisa went much further than what my mind could conceive. Of course that had to be the works of Ali Larter, who I think is a bomb actress. She stole the movie, as she should have. I mean I guess for a typical observer, this movie was coo. But I watch movies from an actor's point of view. Ali Larter did her thing, Idris Elba (the black nigga) held his own, but Beyonce............................................................................................................ && she should officially change her government name to Sasha Fierce if she was going to stay in Sash's skin during this movie. I mean damn Beyonce', be vulnerable. She was basically playing herself. I don't know what ya'll think but I thought she did a horrible job. CAN'T ACT WORTH A LICK. Sorry Beyonce lovers. I mean I love her too but not on that screen, just in music videos and on the concert stage. Mannn am I glad I watched that at home and didn't waste $6+ on that movie. I would have been highly pissed.

In class,

Cee.

Zazz in the BOX. && Chettah.

Hey its a chettah PARTAAAYYY! LOL...

UHM...so there's this rapper named Chettah. He's ridiculously sick along with these Fly Guys named Fly Guys haha.

anywho...words can't describe how sick this crap is. Both of their mixtapes are juss reDONKULOUS!

Fly GUYS mixtape Zazz (in the Box): http://www.zshare.net/download/5679335641492bbf/#

Chettah: datpiff.com--> Chettah: Dollar & A Dream

check em out.

I'll pay you 5 dollars if you don't think its the ishhhh. haha.

Cee.

Howard U!

so today I got an acceptance letter from Howard after sending them my paperwork 5 million times! ugh...it like takes away from the excitement when you had to speak to such rude staff members and had to deal with them being irresponsible numerous times. Lol...nonetheless I am still excited and now even more confused. See...I really ♥ SDSU...but I would love to experience Howard University as well. Howard would be an enriching experience as my eyes would become open to the many different intelligent African American individuals attending a top HBCU. However, SDSU has the culture and the atmosphere I wouldn't mind being in. I mean I've visited and I just love it! Howard would be so fun but it would also limit me because I'm not sure I would get the oppurtunity to exercise my career choices. For instance, I want to try acting out ON THE REAL. && being in Washington D.C., would not give me what I need to do so. If I stay at SDSU, I have the people that are already in the business to motivate me as healthy competition and I can explore that world. I just DON'T KNOW right now...but I have exactly 3 days to make a decision as my intent ot enroll fee is due May 1. Ugh...we will see how this pans out.

Frustrated,

Cee.

P.S. My friends Ezz and Orc (don't question the names) lol...have been very supportive and I thank them very much. They are great friends! Thanks guys.

adventures of REUP && the rest.

so there's this place, or event, well i don't really know how to describe it---but they call it reup. && its like church, but kind of a kigg it spot too. It's on Friday nights in this place called the Living Room which is part of Faithful Central Bible Church. Anywho...it's a pretty coo place and you guys should def join me. Not to mention, its some FINE-NESS up in there every friday haha. ;-). Last night, Queen spoke. I always love to here a young woman preaching the word and touching her peers so effectively. Queen never fails to do so. Anywho...the twins, Misha and I adventured to the HOOD to drop Misha off at home. On account of my radio being messed up, we decided to have our own radio session lol.

Plus I found a prom date! haha...he's a cute one yes he is!

The story to that goes a lil somethin' like this: i spotted this cutie in the crowd at the end. && Misha's crazy (mini Madea) self decided to go up and ask this dude that moment. I'm like "no misha I don't wanna look all thirsty. That's weird." Misha, " girl let's go. You betta' quit acting all shy." LOL and we went to the back and I asked this boy how old he was. He says to me 22. I'm like "ooo u too old sorry" lol. So he's like "what's going on". I say " oh I was going to ask you to my prom but your too old." "Oh I was gonna go to", he says. So then Misha hunts him down after he walks away and gives him my numero. && me and this cutie t alk all night until its time for me to hit them sheets. && that's how that story goes. Note: this story COMPLETELY UNDERMINES THE EXTENT TO WHICH MISHA PHILASHAYE IS CRAZY! But there will be many future stories to evaluate lol.
had a video but it won't upload...so maybe latez.

P.S: Since I found a prom date, today I decided to go looking for a dress. I went to the South Bay Galleria....OMG it brought back so many memories. In the Middle School days...that was the spot lmao. All the little 7th and 8th graders would go there to the movies and we loved it. We used to tell our parents we were going to be with our (girl)friends but meet up with the boo everytime. :::sigh::: I miss those days. Back in the day when I was young...you finish.

Next time come with,

Cee.

Bow Wow is someone brand new.

I mean its no new news to anybody that Bow is like the #1 cocky nigga in the universe. Well maybe not #1, but I think we pay attention to his cockiness so much because us females think he's so fine and realize that he would be so much more attractive if he stopped talking about himself and how much money and how much p**** he gets all the time. I mean its ridiculous! I used to be in love with him back in the Puppy Love days haha when he was still humble. Now I can't stand to hear his mouth even though he does sound sexy lol. Everything that comes out of his mouth lacks so much substance...

Anywho in the past 2 years, Bow decided to go out on his own limb and make music without the imput of those (J.D.) that made him hit records before. He wanted to prove that he could sell just as many records with his own ideas...NOT. LOL...his album flopped and now he's back holding J.D.'s hand because he is his last hope. Yeah...sucker. Maybe if you weren't so into yourself you could pay attention to what your fans want. Nonetheless...his new single is hot (with J.D.) lol. Point taken. You COULD GET IT ALL.

P.S. does anybody notice that Bow looks liek 3 completely different people lol.

Wondering thoughts,

Cee.

Blessings...

Today, I did something good for my enemies. As God would want me to represent myself as so, I have done a good thing today. I simply slipped a dollar bill into my enemy's purse. She will never even have to know that it was me. Rather she got the dollar or not, I have showed God that my heart is willing to love and forgive. In result, God has continued to bless me extremely. I found $120 today. I also got a call for another job today. HaHA! Y e sss! The lord is GOOD YES HE IS! hahaha...anywho I figured I shared that with you guys and let you know that he is a good God.

Speaking of blessings...

This nigga is bomb today! Thank You Jesus for that...mmmm!

A [bomb] day,

Cee.

Millionare Matchmaker && love.

This lady here, Patty Stanger, is a so called Millionaire Matchmaker. I watch her show. It is quite interesting. She hooks up people for a living. Not only is she extremely successful in hooking love birds up, but she is behind hundreds of weddings. So clearly she has the good good on catching a man/woman on both sides of the fence. She thinks like a man but still knows what its like to be a woman. She is harsh, but she knows what she's doing.

Anywho, she was on the Tyra show and she had 5 tips on how to catch a man. Lol. Hey, who knows...you may find them to come in handy. These are irrelevant to my life right now but they might be relevant to yours lol. Here's the 5 Tips Patti gave about catching a man:

1. Grow out your hair (idk what she talking 'bout here...my momma has short hair and my parents have been married for 20 years and i got short hair and uhhhmmm I lowkey be pullin so...idk what she talking about lol)
2. Get fit - exercising makes you feel better and a happier and that helps you attract men
3. Get away from your friends- their advice often drives you away; they don't have minds like men so they often don't know what they are talking about
4. Get dating cards (that MUST BE for white people lmao) no comment lol
5. Make a wish list- oooo mines is:

• loves God
• intelligent and able to hold an intellectual conversation
• clean...can't be dusty and busted lookin' lol
• in college or college bound
• must be able to handle a strong woman
• can be funny lol that won't hurt
• able to treat me like a lady at all times...never like im another nigga
• not cocky...that is not cute
• must be done sucking mommy's titties (sorry but its the truth, get a job and quit taking her money); hence man up!
• understands a woman but not a simp
• thinks for himself
• doing something with his life and ambitious

Now i know this seems like its impossible but I have had it before TWICE out of 4 boyfriends. LOL, yeah they are a little hard to find but it is worth it when you don't have to deal with ignorance and drama and baggage. 'S why i don't date much nowadays but i don't avoid it either. So fellas...if you have most of these qualities...I'm single and minglin' hehe.

Missing a boo,

Cee.

1 last quick word.

Who fights in blogs? That is the stupidest crap I ever heard. The funny thing is...i'm laughing at the whole situation. :::sigh:::. Silly girl. Move on. You are 18 years old. Get some class...you know what. I'mma give ya'll her blog so you can see the radiating ignorance that consistently flows out of her mouth. Let's grow up and move on please. Thank You. -->jbdarealist.blogspot.com<--See if you can stand to even read all that nonsense.

With class,

Cee.

P.S. Feel free to comment. Haha. I love honesty.

Look at how relaxed my Statistics teacher decided to get...lol. Just took her shoes off. She be filing her nails during class. She cracks me up.

&& then this lady that was sitting 2 seats away from me...was like the annoying kidd in class that never stops asking questions. I mean I understand you wanna get your learn on and everything but when your questions become "Do we put a line under the equation when we add?," or "is 10 times 48, 480 bc I tried to do it in my head and i guess i have to do it with a calculator cuz my calculations are wrong," then there's a problem. Dang its already late. Ask questions after class after we all left...dang. We wanna leave... and you over here asking questions adding time to the class. ugh! This lady is a trip. lol.

What a night,

Cee.

CAL STATE FULLERTON!

NOT!... i went to visit Fullerton today just to see the environment...you know, check things out. Some of my friends were telling me that Fullerton is a really nice city and i would like it out there....uhhhhhmmm no. It looks just like Hawthorne. I was like...where is the culture? Where are the black people? lol...where is anything. I felt like I was in the country somewhere. You would think there would be a bunch of people around since there was college in the center. But no...i saw 2 black people in 3 hours and people looked so mean out there. It just confirmed that my heart sits with San Diego baby!!! Yeaaaaaaa. I freaggin love SDSU. I want to go there so bad! I got accepted and I'm hoping that everything works out so that they don't rescend my application (complicated story...will tell later ;-)).. Anywho...i can't wait to go to college. I am anticipating all the new people I will meet and all the new relationships I will establish. I have yet to start over and define myself as a growing woman. Mann I can't wait...

Excited,

Cee.

ah i musn't forget,

on a positive note...me and JoJo went out to eat today! We had such a fulfilling convo.

JoJo's Best Friend,

Cee.

Real Friends are not YOU,

so this morning I put the last of the pieces together to a puzzle that I've been trying to put together for years. This puzzle is not physical, but rather a metaphor to the confusion I had as to why I lost 2 of my closest friends for no apparent reason. Well I found out why. Friend #1 (guera) told me that Enemy #1 told her something 2 years ago. This made Friend feel like I betrayed her which is something I would never intentionally do. However, I lost 2 years of what could have been a good friendship to this ENEMY that I have been battling with for the past year. This ENEMY was once considered my friend. But after numerous accounts of abuse (friendship abuse), it is time for this ROACH to be cut out of my life. Not only did I loose Friend #1 to ENEMY, but Friend #2 also has been lied to by ENEMY. Although I wasn't as close to Friend #2, i still loved her very much and to have her pull away from me was a really sad thing. && to know it was all in the hands of this girl is the saddest part. She is so fake! She has the nerve to say she can't stand females and she can't stand fake people but she is the grimiest of them all. Her actions include:

• lying for no apparent reason
• making rude comments toward me
• blaming me for unecessary crap
• being extremely inconsiderate on numerous occassions
• causing others to be late, causing others to pay for her needs with no regard to how this affects others
• doing whatever it takes to get people to give her what she wants and then being rude about it when they didn't have to help her in the first place
• wasting people's gas to the extreme
• inviting herself numerous places unwanted
• and the list goes on...these just stood out the most

Anywho, as of this morning I wanted to just sock her in her effin mouth because she is always running it and it is the cause to all of the recent drama in my life. But luckily I wasn't anywhere near her as I was in San Diego (100 miles away). Then when I got home I was tired from driving 4 hours so I took a nap. Meanwhile, I had some good dreams and good thoughts. I have since calmed down. Tomorrow I am going to get myself together and discipline myself to represent myself like a lady and the young Christian woman I am growing to be. I have decided to forgive her, but cut her out of my life for good. I don't need anyone in my life that will be that fake and that sneaky and coniving. That sounds a lot like the devil to me...idk. Anywho...I figured I would just let it all out in my blog.

Glad to have God,

[Cee].

this baby is freaggin hilarious!

a serious crush.

Although this eye may look insignificant, believe me it isn't. I have had a crush on the person that belongs to this eye for a while now. I have a feeling that he was feelin' me for a minute. However, this young roach came in the picture and took him away from me. Eh! >:o. Anywho,

the only reason why I think she got to get him over me is because he thought I was older than I really was. i think he may have thought i was out of his league bc i do look a lot older than i really am when i go out (hence we didn't get to talk much). Its not on purpose tho, i promise. I juss have short hair so i look like i'm in my 20s when i'm really not even 18 yet lol. Anywho...his new chick is cute. I must admit. I won't even lie. But I met her...i garauntee she don't got what i got haha (and its not what u think). Anywho...if he knows what his eye looks like, he'll know wassup. hahaha. I guess you can call me a secret admirer out loud haha.

Keeping you posted,

Cee.

FoiiNE!

Enough said.

i love U-N-I!

http://www.myspace.com/unimuzik

Just thought I'd put you on,

Cee.

the X-factor

i juss like this pic. Yes, that's the EX. I only mess with flyNESS so don't come at me if you ain't.

Fly constitutes:

1) loves GOD

2) Good Grades/ smart

3) respecful/ knows how to treat a lady

4) ambitious

5) on point (job/sport/car)

6) cuteness i hope (but notice this is last on the list) im not shallow. I once dated a short boy lol.

poetry sparks my soul,

so I scream inside...JUMP every time I hear poetry like this...



That there is B. Yung (my favorite poet) and Jazmine (idk her) lol. His poetry speaks lengths to me...

I thought you'd like that,

[Cee].

Jo Bro is the coolest,

because he is my shopping buddy. I love JoJo to death. We always go on these dinner dates to our favorite place to eat which is this spot that has Happy Hours like 12 out of 24 hours in the day lol and they are only open about 16 of those hours. So how can you ever not catch Happy Hours lol. Anywho...tomorrow is my Jo Bro's Bday and I fogot to get him something. Thus, I'm about to go out right now and find something hehe (he'll never know). But I haven't seen a lot of JoJo lately and I miss that kidd. I miss those infamous shopping trips we had together (just the 2 of us), those dumb fitting room pics we took all the time (like we can't afford to buy the clothes so lets savor them through some fitting room pics haha), and those marvelous 12 piece hot wing dishes for $3 at EPC (can't be giving away our eating spot cuz i dont wanna see all of ya'll there) lol. Anywho...JoJo if you hear me, I miss ya bruh. We gotta kigg it soon. Remember these times? Anywho I miss em...we need 2 create some more memories...

For my pleasure,

Cee

at the top of a slanted roof,

as the night meets my running thoughts and the tears trickle down my chest, yes im a mess but I digress

U had me going

Complexity complicates the situation

as my dissertation has influenced me 2 let go

4 I have learned that no matter how hard I try, I cry, far I drive, 4 what what used 2 mine...

I can never have a piece of u again

As I playback the memories that dwell in my mind as well as my heart...

I realize through your crys, my lies, our eyes...we have illustrated the most beautiful piece of art.

As the hugs and kisses started, said hello to mrs. Martin and we called what we once were retarted

Cuz our ♥ was unrestrained

Unafraid of 'looking stupid'

We remain a loving unit

I could have never pictured my life without u

Until it began, I forgot what I was in and was lost in trying 2 figure out how 2 get out, & stayed 10 years 2 long

As the scars will still prove what I went through
I no longer knew who I was

2 hold onto 2 something I knew would one day no longer be mine,

I lied
I cried and I lied bc I saw in ur eyes that u didn't really ♥ me the way I loved u

But as my heart was young, my body was vulnerable, and my mind was ignorant...u took that and fed on it as a tiger on my leaping gazelle's heart

And as her tears fell while he feasted on her insides I could identify bc like the gazelle i wanted 2 run but not enough

In some twisted way, in some psychological effed up mindstate...at least he wanted me

Even if I had 2 bleed until I couldn't breathe

Even if I had to get cut to get ♥

At least he wanted me...

Stress has taken over,

&& I have no idea how to handle everything that has been thrown at me.

1) i have been accepted to SDSU (hence he most expensive state college in Cali) and all this money is due within the next 2 weeks in which i don't know if they will even keep me enrolled in the school because I did not fulfill what I promised them i would

2) It is April 17, 2009 =>prom=May 29, 2009 && I still don't have a prom date or a dress

3) I had to quit my job due to important college classes that could no longer be avoided

4) money is slowly decreasing and no longer do i have income to suffice

5) this guy I thought would be perfect for me had his eye on someone else while i had my eye on him and now she belongs to him not me (>:o).

6) prom is effin expenisive...i don't even know if I'mma go

Thus, my life needs some stress relieving events to follow...i don't know how much longer I can take this...

&& i'm bacc.

so readers,

did you happen to miss me while i was gone. anywho, i have been gone for about a half a year, and i'm back with lots of stories to tell, love interests, and music discoveries, and lots and lots more to come...
ive got to admit that i have learned a lot while i've been away and i'd be happy to share my knowledge. Until tomorrow...toodle-loo.

[Cee].